ABC News Does A Sh**ty Job on This One

"ABC NEWS ONLY LIES" would not be an appropriate headline for a news story or for this article -- because the truth is that, even though it is true that in 1994, ABC News reporter Cokie Roberts did stand in front of a picture of the U.S. Capitol and falsely claim that she was live on Capitol Hill when she was actually in the ABC News studio lying to the world about where she was, we cannot endict the entirety of ABC News past, present and future for one lie. So, it's equally irresponsible for ABC News to run a headline (http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=4365942&page=1) saying "Reformer: Trial Will Reveal 'Cesspool' of Obama's Allies" atop this story. Let's break down this F-minus of a headline word-by-word. "Reformer." Good. There is a reformer. His name is Jay Stewart. He's the main voice of the story. The colon after his name suggests that he said what follows. F. He didn't say that a "trial will reveal (a) cesspool of Obama's Allies." Not even close. But let's keep going. "Trial." Good. There is a trial coming up for Tony Rezko, a man who has made contributions to the Obama campaign -- contributions which the ABC News story itself says Obama has since donated to charity. "Will." Just says something is going to happen. No problem. And hopefully, a the end result of a trial is that it does "reveal" something. But what? Here comes trouble, ABC News editors. "'Cesspool'" in quotes. Nevermind that you already used a colon, suggesting that everything that follows was said by the person named before the colon -- kind of like wearing a tie-bar with a button-down -- or a belt and suspenders; don't need 'em both. Putting the word "cesspool" in a quote within a quote tells us that ABC News admits that this is the only word the quoted source, Stewart actually used. Did he use it the way the rest of the headline continues? "'Cesspool'" of Obama's Allies." First, the story never fully establishes that Rezko is or was an Obama Ally. They worked together, sure. I'll concede that. The ABC News story itself reports that Obama called bringing Rezko in on the deal, “a boneheaded move.” (This is the same ABC News story that says that Obama has been “silent” on the issue of corruption in Illinois politics. A quote from Obama commenting on Rezko suggests the opposite of silence, even if the quote came before the campaign. ABC News does not put a date on Obama’s quote.) That word “cesspool.” To me, it suggests something big, comprised of many components. A political cesspool would have a lot of corrupt people in it. This story, however, talks only about one man facing trial: Rezko. The story never even suggests that Obama has had any dealings with anyone under suspicion for anything other than Rezko – a man whose contributions, according to the ABC News story itself, Obama has donated to charity rather than accept. Does the word “cesspool” denote “Rezko” or did the man who said it, Stewart, mean something else? Something that may include Rezko, but not only Rezko? I think so. After all, the ABC News story itself quotes Stewart as saying “We have a sick political culture…” Did he mean “we, the people of Illinois,” “we, the people of the United States,” or “we, the people of the world?” ABC News never clarifies. Stewart is, however the spokesman for the Chicago Better Government Association, so I’ll assume he means, “we the people of Chicago.” So, the news is that a political activist in Chicago, focusing on Chicago politics, sees a lot of corruption in his city, and that one of the allegedly corrupt people had dealings with – and contributed to the campaign of a presidential candidate, who has since called those dealings “boneheaded” and has donated the contributions to charity. Is that a “’Cesspool of Obama’s Allies?” Next word. “Of.” It may be small, but it’s mighty. A preposition, as I understand it, shows a physical or abstract relationship between things in a sentence. “The book is on the table.” “I am under the weather.” “…’Cesspool of Obama’s Allies.” The headline suggests that there is a relationship between the “cesspool” and the object of the preposition, “allies” – that the “cesspool” is made up of “allies,” in this case, a particular kind of “allies” identified by the modifying proper noun “’Obama’s’ allies.” To quote Gary Cole in “Office Space, “Umm, yeaaaaaah.” Here’s the problem. ABC News is reporting about a one-man ‘cesspool,’ Rezko, which is not the same thing as the “cesspool” with which Stewart is honorably concerned, the densely populated ‘cesspool’ of Chicago politics, of which Rezko is allegedly a significant component, and a component with which Obama has clearly, according to the ABC News story itself, broken any would-be ties, declared them “boneheaded,” and has donated all related contributions to charity. So, is it that there is only one piece of *&@# in Chicago’s political cesspool? Unlikely. As unlikely as it is that there is only one piece of *&@# in the ABC News archives, or stinking up the banks of news media in general.